Do You Keep A Clean Butt Hole During The Day?
My commencement time bottoming was a nightmare come to life. I was in pain the entire fourth dimension, not to mention super self-conscious about my partner being all up in my rear end.
If you're not familiar with the term, "bottoming" refers to being on the receiving end of anal sex, meaning the "bottom" is the partner putting the penis (or dildo) within of them. (The person sticking said penis or dildo within the bottom is referred to equally the "peak.")
After my negative sexual experience, I couldn't for the life of me understand what was pleasurable about bottoming. How do so many men—gay, bi, and direct—derive pleasure from having a penis (or dildo) inside of them? Later my first unpleasant feel, I didn't bottom for quite some time. Eventually, I had a girlfriend who got me into it. She actually wanted to peg me, then I told her I'd give bottoming another endeavor. She loved anal (on herself, too) and taught me what I had been doing wrong. Afterward a few experimental sessions, I finally got what bottoming was all well-nigh. It felt heavenly. My orgasms were and so much stronger with something in my barrel than without.
I had no thought how to lesser, which makes sense. Bottoming isn't an innate skill; information technology's something you acquire. Alas, there are not that many resources for men who want to learn how to bottom, but accept no thought where to begin. That'due south why we spoke to Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, an anal surgery practice, for medical information and advice. We also spoke to legendary gay porn stars Boomer Banks and Ty Mitchell for tips on how to bottom.
Why practise men lesser?
Well, for 1, cisgender gay men don't have vulvas, and so if they want to accept penetrative sex, information technology's really their only pick. Two, it feels actually practiced for the bottom. Roughly 2-3 inches inside the anus resides the prostate, a walnut-sized gland that's a beacon of pleasure. "One time you tap into its benefits with appropriate stimulation, your orgasms volition never be the same again," says Goldstein.
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Relaxation is primal to enjoying the bottoming experience.
To have a pleasurable (and rubber) fourth dimension bottoming, you lot need to relax the voluntary muscles in your butt in society to accept whatever y'all're inserting into it, explains Goldstein. You likewise want to first by inserting smaller things—like fingers or minor barrel plugs—earlier taking a full-on penis or dildo. (Notation: Any toy that goes up your barrel needs to take a flared base—y'all don't want information technology getting stuck upwardly there!) If you lot stretch beyond your capacity, y'all tin can crusade damage to the region—near commonly in the class of anal fissures or hemorrhoids.
Using yoga-fashion meditative breathing can assist in pelvic floor relaxation, explains Goldstein. Utilise big, deep, full-bellied breaths. He also suggests "pushing out the pelvic floor during the initial insertion." Whatever you do, do not clench. For some, it'south a natural response to having something inside if you, only you need to fight the urge.
How to practice bottoming by yourself:
Y'all tin beginning by inserting a lubed-up finger, but make certain to cut your nails extremely short and file them downwardly. As someone who's had his anus fingered by women and men with long nails, I tin tell you it's very unpleasant when they accidentally scratch your insides.
Goldstein recommends using anal dilating kits. Dilating kits, in essence, are a few dildos that range in size. You lot first with the smallest toy, lather information technology up with every bit much water-based lube as you lot mayhap can, and then put it within of you. You breathe with it inside of you, and get used to the sensation. You can also "play with it," moving it in and out of you with your mitt. Goldstein recommends leaving it inside of you for 3-5 seconds before removing it. Then reapply lube (if necessary) and do it again. He suggests doing ten reps per gear up and 2-iii sets per session. Only after inserting a dilation toy with ease, tin can yous movement onto the next size. Generally, it takes near two weeks to transition to the next toy, assuming you're doing these exercises ii-iii times a week, Goldstein says.
Dilation kits are absolutely cracking, simply they're also non necessary for every person who wants to bottom. Personally, I'd recommend buying a minor prostate massager, and getting used to that. (It should also feel really good!) Only make certain to get slow, apply a lot of lube, and exhale through any discomfort. Balmy discomfort you can breathe through. Pain, you should non. That's a hard stop.
Writer and porn star Ty Mitchell, amend known by his social media handles, Probottom, recommends "beingness really intentional and thoughtful" while practicing on yourself. You need to identify which things assist you relax, which movements make you lot clamp, and how to breathe, he says. "This practice of embodiment and thoughtfulness helps you get in touch with your torso, which is necessary to employ your asshole sexually."
When practicing by yourself, make sure you're angry too! Watch some porn that really turns y'all on. If you're sticking something up your butt without being angry it tin be an uncomfortable feel. It feels medical (and not pleasurable), which can make information technology difficult to relax.
How do yous go well-nigh bottoming with a partner?
Bottom with someone you can really communicate with. "It'southward well-nigh reaching a level of comfortability for you," says Boomer Banks, the renowned gay porn star. "Really try to connect with them beforehand." Talk to your partner about their dos and don'ts, and share your ain.This is even more than important if you're new to bottoming.
With your partner, start slowly with fingers or a pocket-sized toy, and utilise a lot of lube. Silicone-based lube tin can assistance with anal sexual practice because information technology'due south thicker. It's prophylactic to apply with condoms forth with h2o-based lubes. Oil-based lubes, on the other hand, can erode latex.
When you beginning to take penetrative sexual activity, do it from a position where y'all command the thrusting. I ofttimes kickoff in the cowgirl position, and tell them to not move. That way you control how far the penis or dildo goes within of you. If you outset in doggy manner, your partner controls the thrusting, and they may accidentally go too apace before you're relaxed and fix.
What are the proper means to make clean yourself out before sex?
Ane of the biggest fears of bottoming is adventitious poop. "What if I poop on his penis?" is a question nearly every bottom has asked himself at some indicate in his life.
"It'southward a natural side effect," says Mitchell. "Information technology still happens to me, someone who's bottoming all the time," he says. And if your partner is rude or judgmental to you about it, then know that they're the asshole, not you.
While pooping during anal sex is past no means the end of the world, there are still ways to minimize risk. The near common fashion is to clean your anus using a douche. "The goal of douching is twofold: cleanse the anal culvert and rectum with as picayune trauma equally possible to the region," says Goldstein.
The 2 main ways you lot tin can make clean your asshole is to douche using a little bulb, where you squeeze clean water into your ass, or using a hose that you can connect to your shower head, and insert that into your behind (often referred to as a shower enema). With either device, you lightly pump the water into your asshole and clasp it upwards within of you. (Note: Delight just use make clean h2o. Don't add any oils or scents!) You lot allow it sit within of you for a few seconds. Mitchell says he counts to ten. Then you expel the water from y'all. You lot go on on doing this until y'all can miscarry completely (or at least relatively) clean water. You also don't need to squirt that much h2o into your backside. You lot're not trying to completely fill it upward. You're merely rinsing it out.
A notation nearly using a shower hose. It can be difficult to control the force per unit area of the shower water, and you don't want to accidentally burn your insides by using water that's too hot. (I've done that and take never screamed louder in my entire life.) So before inserting the hose inside of you, make sure it's the correct temperature (a niggling colder than lukewarm) with a gentle pressure. Don't stick in the hose and and then turn on the water.
Ane of the very annoying things nearly douching and enemas is that information technology can cause damage to the the anal region if y'all douche too much. "It can disrupt the microbiome in your barrel, which affects the normal balance of the good and bad bacteria that resides there," says Goldstein. "As a effect, in that location's a chance that micro-cuts and tears tin happen, and with the washing away or the absenteeism of the protective layer, information technology can lead to a higher chance of contracting HIV and other STIs."
Unfortunately, there's no consensus on what constitutes equally douching "as well much." This is likely because information technology depends on how much h2o yous use each fourth dimension, what pressure you use, etc. Nevertheless, Goldstein says, "Less is always more and if someone is post-obit an appropriate protocol, then 2-3 times a week seems fine."
Some studies have shown that a pH-counterbalanced isotonic solution, as opposed to regular h2o, can potentially assistance clean anal tissue without damaging the cells as much. Then if you find yourself douching frequently, it might be worth it to invest in an isotonic solution, like Future Method.
How does diet come into play?
"What about people don't realize is that beingness set to bottom really starts with your diet," says Goldstein. In fact, if you maintain a diet that'due south full of cobweb (either through nutrient or supplements), anal douching every fourth dimension before sex may non be necessary. Fiber keeps your bowel system regular and moving, which is what you want.
Greasy, fried, fatty, creamy, heavy, or spicy foods that upset your breadbasket aren't ideal if you're trying to maintain a salubrious bowel system. Fruits are good! Mitchell makes clear that for him, information technology's less about what he eats as opposed to his dietary consistency. He has a relatively light and healthy nutrition that's high in fiber, but volition also beverage a loving cup of coffee before heading to gear up, which in general, wouldn't be recommended since coffee has caffeine which tin can cause you to poop. At the finish of the 24-hour interval, you need to learn for yourself which foods piece of work best for you.
What are some of the wellness/safety risks of bottoming?
There'southward a hazard of HIV and STI transmission, as there is with whatever sexual human activity. "Additionally, the external skin, rim, and walls of the anal canal are quite sparse and are more decumbent to several types of injuries, such equally tears, hemorrhoids, skin tags, and abscesses," says Goldstein.
Condoms, of course, are the best way to help protect against STIs and HIV. You can too take ane of 2 FDA-approved antiretroviral medications, either Truvada or Descvoy, for PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis). These daily medications decreases the likelihood of acquiring HIV through sex by about 99%, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report. If you find yourself bottoming with a lot with different partners, PrEP is something you should consider taking. Enquire your dr..
As for the damage done to your anal region? That'southward why we recommended practicing past yourself kickoff, breathing securely to relax, using lots of lube, and bottoming from the top position, and so yous're in control. All of these tips aren't just to help you bask your bottoming feel, they too help prevent whatsoever injuries.
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Source: https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a31912492/how-to-bottom/
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